10 worst car names--plus six more

In the car name game, there are winners and there are losers. Our friends at Hagerty Insurance recently posted their vote for the 10 worst car names. We took it upon ourselves to critique that list and add six of our own contenders. Got an entry of your own? Drop it in the Comments section.

1. Mohs Ostentatienne Opera Sedan: The MOOS, as it should have been called, could win for one of the ugliest cars on the list, too. The Opera Sedan could only be entered from a rear hatch, leaving the side doors as mainly a conversation piece.

2. Zimmer Quicksilver: Although quicksilver is an antiquated word for mercury, which causes cancer and a host of other ailments, we think it's actually not a bad name for a car. It definitely sounds fast, and shiny. Of course, saying "I just bought a silver Zimmer Quicksilver" doesn't really roll off the tongue.

3. Studebaker Dictator: Fortunately for Studebaker, the Dictator was produced in the 1920s and '30s, before the word had such a negative connotation. Unfortunately, it's now the answer to the question WWFD--what would Fidel drive?

4. Geely Beauty Leopard: Because of a fuzzy translation--and the words "beauty" and "leopard" just not meshing well--the compact Geely's name is slightly more impressive than the car. Other choices were the Geely Happy Fun Time and the Geely Amazing Fast Car.

5. Mitsubishi MAUS (Mini Active Urban Sandal): Introduced at the Tokyo motor show in 1995, the MAUS really wasn't heard from after that. Whether it conjures images of hippies in hemp shoes or pantry rodents, it's all bad for Mitsubishi.

6. Isuzu Mysterious Utility Wizard: This is the actual name of an SUV that debuted in Japan in 1991. At least if it was the Mysterious Utility Vehicle, it could have been a MUV, which would have been a little funny. As it stands, it seems to be another wobbly translation to an Americanized name.

7. Honda That's: Honda's rationale for the name was that it wanted people to see the car and exclaim, "That's it!" It was probably more like, "That's um . . . what?" The That's was, until 2007, a 0.65-liter Kei car shaped like the Nissan Cube.

8. Mitsubishi Delica Space Gear: This is not a piece of steel to fix your broken rocket ship: "We need a new Delica Space Gear or we won't be able to get through the atmosphere." Or new sneakers that will let you jump into orbit--"Just got a pair of the new Space Gears; cost me 300 bucks." It's just another in a long line of names like Starion, Cordia and Tredia.

9. Datsun Fairlady: We really don't mind the name Fairlady. The 50 years of performance have blinded us to the absurdity of the fact than Nissan actually named the car after the musical My Fair Lady.

10. Mazda Bongo Friendee: Another name that could double for a Japanese TV show, the Bongo Friendee was a minivan you could stuff full of . . . Friendees.

Here are five also-rans from AutoWeek that we think should have made the top 10:

1. Pontiac Aztek: Because no list of ugly cars or worst car names would be authentic without it. Name your car for a long-dead civilization, misspell that name and sell it with a tent. Marketing gold.

2. Audi E-tron Concept: The Audi has nothing to be ashamed of with the looks of its electric E-tron. It looks like a smaller, battery-powered R8. Unfortunately, after the car debuted, the French translation became clear. Étron roughly means "a lump of excrement."

3. Dodge Diplomat: The Diplomat is different from the dictator for several reasons. First, a dictator might have actually driven a Dictator. A diplomat has never driven a Dodge Diplomat. Also, there will be no talk of diplomatic immunity in a Dodge; any crime you commit will be yours and yours alone, including driving a Diplomat. The only other interesting thing about the hapless Dippy was that it was used for police cars for a short time.

4. Volugrafo Bimbo: Designer Claudio Belmondo named the Bimbo after the Italian word for baby. The 125-cc vehicle has quite a different connotation in the States--not to mention that the last thing you'll be picking up in the near-toy car is people of the opposite sex.

5. Ford Aspire: The last thing the renamed Festiva will do is get better. The uninspired hatchback was a joint project by Ford and Kia. It lived in Ford's stable for a few years as the Aspire and as the Kia Avella before being dropped. It did have the lofty aspirations to be the first car in its class to feature dual front airbags and optional four-wheel antilock brakes, and for that we thank you.

6. Anything alphanumeric: R8. X5. CTS-V. Some of our favorite rides, but the marketing teams couldn't even muster the creativity to give them proper names. It's the automotive equivalent of a forfeit.